holiday squid

I found this picture at http://kasei.us/

I think we should replace santa with a christmas squid for sure. Think how many presents the tentacles could hold (the wrapping paper might get a little soggy, though).

sweet shirt from the deep!

This is a picture of a shirt that my lovely friend, Bala, gave me this past summer. It is so good that the normally surly kid at the ice cream place I go to complimented me on it. It is from threadless.com*
(*Beer not included with shirt purchase.) Thanks, Bala!

octopus chop!

My friend Richey came to visit in late October and brought AN AMAZING BIRTHDAY PRESENT! While she was at the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco, she had an artist make a "chop" for me. I.E. a totally awesome stamp. The "g" is the first letter of my last name.


Thanks, Richey!

rad cephalopod skateboards.

a while back, my friend had a skateboard in the trunk of his car. He pulled it out and I attempted to skateboard on it (with poor results). Which for some reason has caused me, weeks later, to do a search on cephalopod related skateboards. I also included a french octopus skateboarding poster--I think it's the best part.

why is this woman so happy?

Apparently, double fisting dead octopuses at a Madrid seafood market is the path to happiness (and a Christmas tradition). I'm going to go try it.

squid or treat

My roommate's old roommate (I can draw a lineage for you if you like) created an amazing squid costume for Halloween. I am not surprised by her cleverness, for I recall that one year she spent hours crafting a banana costume (that is now rotting in the basement).
Cole, you look squidtacular:
(though what are you holding? squid treats?)

This one shows that even squid will take public transportation to help save the planet. I can only imagine that is a nalgene bottle full of sea water?

Project Runsquid 4

I don't know how many of you watch Project Runway out there--it is one of my dirty pleasures that I like to engage in (when I'm not running around in a superpus costume). The first episode of season 4 was on Wednesday night. As they bio-ed the designers, I instantly disliked Christian Siriano, a 21 year old who thinks he is the dopest designer ever. Of course, I might dislike him simply because he is young and the dopest designer ever.

But then, I saw something that made me rethink my initial opinion. Here is a picture of him (standing next to an amazon model wearing what he designed):

The jacket makes me want to barf, but WAIT WHAT IS THAT A TATTOO OF ON THE YOUNG LAD'S ARM? Squint and you can see it:

Frankly, I'm not sure if this makes me dislike him more or less. There's no escaping it now, though--the hipsters have got the squids and they are not giving them back.

SUPERPUS!

My friend and I competed in a Pumpkin Festival 10K in Maine recently. The race people said costumes were encouraged, but I doubt any mere mortal could have been prepared for this:


I cannot take credit for the genius that is the Superpus costume, because my friend Richey made it. Truly, wearing it made me feel like running six miles was nothing. The cape especially helped. Oh, and on a side note, I ran in nylons, which is actually amazing--they keep you warm but not too warm like pants. I recommend the "sun tan" color.

I was so excited about my costume I tried to return to the ocean post-race. However, as soon as a wave hit me, I realized I was still human, which elicited this reaction:

Happy International Cephalopod Awareness Day!

for some of us, it is international cephalopod awareness day all year around, but cephalopodcast is awesome for inventing this very special day. thanks to the amazing connie for pointing this out!

(i.e. didn't we already decide columbus day is lame? a cephalopod probably "discovered" the americas before people even existed. and said, big whoop, and then went and had a crab sandwich and a nap.)

a safe place for your cephalopod.

I was looking around and found this site: The National Resource Center for Cephalopods.

I think they mean that I am supposed to go there to find information about cephs (which I will!), but at first I couldn't help imagining that it is actually a place for cephalopods to go, and learn more about themselves. There would be informative videos for female octopuses about reproduction. There would also be advice on the dangers of whales. Maybe the site could also have a list of locations where cephalopods could go after school and play basketball so they don't sell drugs on behind the coral.

threadless octo

Two readers have informed of me of this sweet shirt at threadless.com:

As alert reader Hannah aptly states "not sure if the octopus ate the child and isn't sure what to do with the teddy bear or if he's just trying to figure out how to snuggle with it..."

Daisy the Dog + Cephalopod = ?

I know that I last posted in the pleistocene, but now I am going to try to get back on track. I present to you an epic story told in pictures, a battle between a dog and a cephalopod. Please brace yourself. Some of these images are quite disturbing.

Behold, Daisy the dog in all her glory:


Your average purple, fuzzy, land dwelling octopus replete with a squeaker inside of it:


The octopus makes its move, and Daisy has that creepy feeling that something is right behind her:



A battle of epic proportions ensues:



At the end of it all, Daisy wonders what in her nature caused her to crush the life out of this beautiful, purple, squeaky creature of the sea:

An Octopus Fights Back at Nihonbashi Fish Market

My amazing friend Richey went to the Asian Art Museum in San Francisco last weekend and saw this painting:

She also braved great bodily harm by taking a picture of the description label next to the painting
(You can also read the label at this link.):

For the record, I too would be very angry if someone stuck a spike in my head and tried to drag me to a fish market. I probably wouldn't be as successful at expressing my anger, though. Instead I would probably say something dumb like "You hurt my head. AND my feelings."

Also, my friend Richey is the same person who once called me and casually informed me that she had just run a half marathon dressed as an octopus super hero. To which I replied "Well, do you have pictures?" And she said "No." Who dresses up like an octopus super hero AND DOESN'T TAKE PICTURES???? MY GOD!

cephalopods. they might need a drink too.

Although it is friday and you may be thinking longingly of the the gin and tonic you will have later, let us not forget our cephalopod friends who might also be in need of a beverage.

(though I think your average ceph might want some fish or something as a garnish instead of a paltry olive.)

something to do if three co-workers and you are bored.

Not surprisingly, the boy scouts are into weird sh*t.

RECYCLED METAL OCTOPUS THIS WEEKEND!!!

If you live in the east bay in cali, perhaps this is something you might want to check out. From the pictures, the octopus looks very sharp and shiny, like it has a high probability of falling and possibly impaling babies and/or small dogs. So if you DO check it out, please wear a helmet.

octodog, part deux.

don't try to eat this one, people.

one wouldn't expect fox news to report something "science-y"

but here is a story from earlier this year about an "antarctic octopus." The story also describes the new octopus as "psychedelic" but does not explain why. Perhaps they orignally found it holding tabs of lsd in its tentacles as it undulated to an underwater phish (HA!) concert.

you mess with the squid, you get the ink.

alert reader Marc sent me a link to this picture. Original post here. I'm just really glad to put something good up after my crappy post from yesterday.

sweet cephalopod crop circle.

People. We all know a giant squid crawled out of the ocean, flew in its space ship to this field, and made a crop circle depiction of his friend, Mr. Nautilus. Am I right?

move over, weiners. make room for octodog!

Frankly (OH MY GOD, HA!), I can't believe I never heard of the octodog before. Have all of you been holding out on me? You have, haven't you! You've been secretly eating octodogs all along and haven't wanted to share! Bitches!

Okay, I've calmed down now. Anyway, last night I was at a bar, and an acquaintance was wearing an octodog shirt. When asked, he excitedly explained that it is this contraption that you put your hot dogs into:


And once you press your hot dog through (it's safe, kids!) you get this:

Look! It has little eyes!

If you are more into plating:

I was also told it works just as well for vegan dogs. So we can ALL enjoy octodogs!

I know. It's pretty amazing. Please take a breath. I had to. And then get your ass over here and get an octodog. And here is a pic of the sweet t-shirts that lead me to discover this amazing product:

our octopus, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy tentacles.

This may be the weirdest cephalopod related thing I have ever posted on this blog. Please go and check out the octopus faith site. Let me warn you, dear uninitiated reader, that at first you may be frightened by the pictures of the perky octopus woman that come up. Don't worry, so was Jesus.

There is no point in me trying to summarize the site since it is so weird and fantastic. A direct quote:

"Do you want to go deep? Let 'deep sea travel guide' and Christian Women's Speaker, Janet Drez, take your women on an "under-sea" adventure using the attributes of the octopus as a unique and profound word-picture to discover and grow their "Octopus Faith®."

(Why is she taking "your" women? Who do these women belong to? Does she have to get permission first? Do they have a curfew? Why are there no men allowed? Is this actually about menstruation? OH MY GOD IS IT A CEPHALAPOD LESBIAN PLOT?!?!?! If so, can I attend??????)



But, most importantly, I feel the need to share the...

8 Tentacles of Octopus Faith®:

1. Praise: Do You Know Who God Is?
2. Pearls: Do You Know Who You Are?
3. Prayer: An Octopus Conversation
4. Pressure: How to Survive the Underwater Pressure
5. Power: Wrestling with an Enemy
6. Play: The Joy of Octopus Faith®
7. Passion: Longing for Octopus Faith®
8. Pass It On: Lead Someone Else into the Deep

(Okay, after reading number 6 and 7, I hope all of these women are given a complimentary octopus vibrator. Maybe that's why men aren't allowed.)



And finally, a quote from a satisfied octopus faith customer:

"Octopus Faith was exactly the message that was needed to springboard us into a season of 'deep sea diving' with Christ. Each and every lady was amazed and surprised at the analogy of our faith to octopus. All loved it and you!"
Michelle Gale, Director, First Ladies Women's Ministry
First Southern Baptist Church of Phoenix

Let's go deep sea diving with Jesus, y'all! Last one in the water is washed up jumbo squid servant of satan!

BREAKING COLOSSAL SQUID NEWS!

Despite being on vacation, what kind of loser would I be if I didn't link to a story about a colossal squid the size of a bus that was found on the beach in Australia? A really big loser, that's what (although, I am already kind of a loser because it was my mom who saw the story and informed me. thanks again, mom.)

The article states that a beach comber found the squid this past Wednesday. How amazing would it be to find a colossal squid washed up? Usually I find rubber gloves, used condoms, hypodermics, and diapers. I've never even found a human head. This beach comber just won the cephalopod lottery.

More news as it unfurls its tentacles...

interspecies cephalopod love?

Alert reader Tim sent me an amazing story about an "octosquid" that was found off the coast of the big island of Hawaii. The story states that "It appears that the creature was sucked up in a deep seawater pipeline at the Natural Energy Laboratory Hawaii Authority at Keahole on the Big Island. The pipeline pumps cold water up from 3,000 feet below sea level. Occasionally deep-sea marine life will get caught in a filter in the line, officials said." (How cool is that! A filter that actually sucks up neat things, not wads of hair and day old cheerios!)

Can't you picture it? An octopus and a squid get together to gripe about their giant brains, short life spans, depleted oceans...they have a couple of martinis, and BOOM, a few months later an octosquid appears out of a lovingly hidden egg sack.

Well, as one of the octosquid's parents has surely realized, it will take a DNA test to find out what is really going on here...

cephalopod fashionista?

While perusing boingboing today, I saw a post on "Diesel's 'bioluminescent mechanical cephalopod' runway show." Basically, the fashion line Diesel had their 2008 show in Florence, Italy. When I read the headline, I became a bit shivery with excitement (like a tiny terrier about to go for a walk). But the Youtube video was a little disappointing. It was 17 minutes long and I may have seen a cephalopod at minute 10:37, but everything else looked like angler fishes, models in little submarines, some deep sea worms, and a lot of jellyfish. Not that those rare and mysterious creatures (excluding the jellyfish and models, of course) aren't interesting--but don't put cephalopod in the title of your fashion show and then not deliver. There were some mechanical objects that might have been cephalopod like...but I'm not sure. Here is the video:



As I watched the video I had completely conflicting emotions. First I was like, oooh, fashion. And clothes! And cephalopods! My favorite ever! But then after a while, I wanted the giant holographic sea turtle to eat a model. Okay, maybe a few models, because we know eating one model would not be enough nourishment for a giant holographic sea turtle.

Plus the whole thing made me feel weird. On the one hand it was cool-everyone looked cool, the music was cool, the weird blue swimming things, although not cephalopods, were kind of cool. But, seriously, how is high fashion helping out the oceans? Will they give the jellyfish free Diesel hoodies? Will the models lovingly keep the angler fish in their giant Yves Saint Laurent purses (which they will have to pressurize.)? I doubt it. Perhaps it is just fashion and art and I should let it go. Or perhaps Diesel should donate some money somewhere for using all these images. Or perhaps someone should punch me in the face to tone down the self righteous hag that emerges from time to time.

keeping your octopus entertained.

As we all know, a bored creature is a generally unhappy creature. While people can start blogs to combat the problems of boredom, what can our cephalopod brethren do to not fall asleep in their tanks?

The octopus known as Shania (oh my god, who named this poor creature? obviously a lover of pop country music), at the Washington National Aquarium dissembles smelt-filled Mr. Potato Heads for entertainment:


Meanwhile Ollie the octopus (note the improved name-must the British exceed us at EVERYTHING?) who lives at the Sealife Park in the UK has been given "lego" (for some reason British people do not use the term "legos") to entertain itself.


Other octopuses can be kept busy with the "squishing yourself out of a really tiny hole" trick. Which I sometimes have to do when I park really close to another car and am trying to get out of my car. I wish I could say it was the bones in my ass that prevented me from getting out, but I fear that is not the truth.

d.i.y. cephalopod

An alert reader (thanks, Mom!) informed me of an article in the N.Y. Sunday Times Style Section on the Renegade Craft Fair which took place last weekend in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. According to the article (which is hilarious), cephalopods are TOTALLY IN with the do it yourself crowd.

According to the article (by Melena Ryzik) "while the sparrow and the owl — last year’s favored animal and the symbol of the fair — are out, the octopus, a burgeoning contender for creature of the moment, has been joined by other sea dwellers, like the squid."

This makes me a little bit fearful because it means that soon cephalopods may go the way of flannel shirts, hypercolor, and more recently, getting sparrows tattooed on each shoulder.

However, I believe in the strength of the cephalopod to ride this wave of popularity without becoming annihilated through ubiquitousness. I.E. I believe cephalopods can be the Justin Timberlakes of ocean trendy, not the Vanilla Ices.

wearable cephalopod and a divine deep sea book.

Cephalopodcast kindly informed me that it is now possible to purchase a dumbo octopus t-shirt on McSweeney's. This is perfect timing since a) McSweeney's is having some kind of financial trouble, and b) there just can't be too much cephalopod inspired kitsch out there to please me. I feel this t-shirt would be good for many professions: the office (business casual! or dress it up with a tie), grad students (don't eat this weekend, order this shirt instead), strippers (can get extra small and wear over a tiny sequined thong), etc.

Apparently the original dumbo picture (and the inspiration for the shirt) are from the book, "The Deep: The Extraordinary Creatures of the Abyss" by Claire Nouvian, which is full of stunning pictures that made me pee a little in my office chair.

Here is our dumbo octopus again, giving us a sort of coquettish, Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's side long glance:



And here, a frothy pink deep sea delight:



And finally, a cephalopod made out of saran wrap: