Thursday, April 12, 2007

Have you hugged your pacific northwest tree octopus today?

My good friend James alerted me to the cause of the EXTREMELY ENDANGERED Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus. My god, I had no idea that such an amazing creature existed, much less that it was endangered. (although now that I think of it, my grandmother DID have one of those octopus hats that were all the rage way back then. It looks like a weird piece of beef jerky now, though.)

One of the trickiest things about preserving the already low populations of Pacific Tree Octopuses is that Sasquatch apparently enjoys snacking on them. How can we save the tree octopuses and preserve the cultural balance? I suggest hybridizing fraternity members with sasquatches, and then feeding the offspring to giant squid as a start.

Here is my favorite suggestion from the PNW octopus site on how you, the average citizen, can show your support for our forested, tentacled friends: "Participate in tree octopus awareness marches. You can demonstrate their plight during the march by having your friends dress up as tree octopuses while you attack them in a lumber jack costume."

Since I like to dress up in a lumber jack costume and attack people any way, this won't really be much different from my daily routine. Except now I have a reason to do it. So my therapist can put that in her pipe and smoke it.

Good luck saving those PNW Octopuses, everyone. They need you. And a latte, stat.

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