octopus wrestling.

It was only a matter of time before I searched the phrase "octopus wrestling," and here is what came up. Basically, people in the northwestern US wrestled octopuses. And then they (definitely the people, maybe the octopuses) got matching buzz cuts and celebrated. So many questions: why were the octopuses in the shallow water for the wrestling? Who thought this would be a good idea? And did the octopuses ever win?

It basically defies all rational thought.

But, wait there is more:

Reel.com gives the following synopsis: Much talked-about action comedy about a young woman who falls for a giant squid who also happens to be a championship wrestler. Things go out of control when a giant octopus and lobster scheme to take over the championship for themselves.

And guess what else? It is from 2004. I have to get my hands/tentacles/swimmerettes on this, stat.

UPDATE: this film is now on the top of my netflix queue (is that okay with you, Constance?). More to follow.

NOTE: There is actually a lot of weird Japanese game show octopus wrestling stuff online. It makes me sad so I'm not showing it. I'd rather just pull the wings of flies, or microwave lizards, myself.

new york vs. octopus

this looks like another good one. but if there isn't a scientist demonstrating how cephalopods are in all ways similar to balloons, I'm not going.

fruity, oaky, with a hint of tentacle.

I won't even say what this sauvignon blanc would pair really nicely with.

he's jet propelled!

My roommate and I were lucky enough to see this film from 1955. A brief synopsis: Radioactive octopus attacks atomic powered submarine. Sassy female marine biologist and extra-manly naval captain battle said octopus to save San Francisco. Love complications and looming tentacles both arise repeatedly.

The following clip shows the biologists trying to explain to some navy guys what makes cephalopods so great (I know it is wrong to infringe on copyrights. but I also know it would be wrong to keep this scene a secret.):


Here is a picture of the formidable octopus. He kind of looks like a giant, angry, brownie being extruded through a play-do spaghetti maker:

the mega ceph

If you are having a bad day, I recommend picturing this angry cephalopod (who even for a ceph, has a rather large head, which may be why he is extra cranky) attacking everyone who annoys you.

However, I also like to picture him trying to make copies, or pondering which 401K to invest in.

midnight snack

The book "Kingdom of the Octopus" by F. Lane (1957) just gives and gives. In the chapter "Locomotion," there are some incidents of octopuses walking around that are great.

Behold:

"L.R. Brightwell tells me that at the Marine Biological Station at Plymouth he once met an octopus walking downstairs at 2:30 in the morning. It had come from the laboratory... An even more surprising encounter with a perambulating octopus occurred while Brightwell was on a Channel trawler. The fishermen caught a small octopus and left it on the deck. It walked down the companionway to the cabin and two hours later was found in the teapot!"

I have to say, I like the story about meeting the octopus on the stairs in the wee hours the best. I picture the following conversation between BRIGHTWELL and the OCTOPUS:
BRIGHTWELL (groggy from excess drinking and researching) [author's note, I am merely speculating here, but why else would he be up so late?]: "Hey."
OCTOPUS: "Squish."
BRIGHTWELL: "Isn't it past your bedtime?"
OCTOPUS: [belligerent] "SQUISH!"
BRIGHTWELL: "Fine, it's your life. There's some beer and herring in the fridge if you want. Remember we have to get up early in the morning. We're doing a bunch of experiments where we squeeze you through unbelievably small holes in your tank."
BRIGHTWELL and OCTOPUS squeeze past each other uncomfortably in the stair well. OCTOPUS heads to fridge for snack. BRIGHTWELL passes out. OCTOPUS and BRIGHTWELL wake up in each other's arms in the morning, both smelling of herring and beer.

ikea and its devilish fascination with cephalopods

Perhaps it is because Ikea is from Sweden, and sometimes giant squid wash up on shore in those northern parts that they feel compelled to make cephalopod themed items. And perhaps I would be more amenable to these items IF I HAD NOT SPENT TWO HOURS TODAY PUTTING TOGETHER A LAUNDRY HAMPER I BOUGHT AT IKEA. No, I'm sure that has nothing to do with it.

The first offender:
Please note the number of tentacles. Perhaps the other four were lost at sea, or in an attempt to assemble something with a terrible, teeny, tiny, ineffective allan wrench.

And then this:

I find this product more troubling because when I saw it at the ikea store, I kind of wanted it. And then I wondered what was wrong with me that I wanted to purchase any and all cephalopod related products. This one is apparently for hanging up one's socks to dry in the laundry room. The clips are sort of shoddy, which is why I did not impulsively buy it. (and the fact that I had been in ikea for an hour by then and my soul was DEAD.) But you could probably hang your dried cuttlefish from it in a pinch.